Women are as filthy as men. Dr Dre, yeah. [On Beethoven] I don’t think he could have done better if he’d heard what he was playing, in my opinion. Who printed this out for Joan? You get the best out of us.’ And I go, you know, ‘C’est la vie.’ If that’s true – excellent. He’s 32 and still lives with his parents. David Brent: Simply as the man who put a smile on the face of everyone he met. The man we love to hate and also all hate to love, because let’s face it, that at one point or other in our lives, WE HAVE ALL come across a “David Brent”. David Brent has put Slough on the map. One in 10, apparently. If you are, good luck to you. He’s the man at the top of the food chain. I’m sort of fused Flashdance with MC Hammer sh*t. Dr Dre, yeah. Or she. “Life is just a series of peaks and troughs, and you don't whether you're in a trough until you're … There are “David Brent’s” in every facet of our lives. We also included a few quotes from Life On The Road.Not the best of Brent’s work, but one way to keep the money rolling in I suppose. Fact. Whenever we come across these individuals, there is a natural affinity to match them up with particular Brent moments from the series, and more specifically David Brent quotes. There’s a neighbour of mine, Kelvin. She’s got alopecia, so not a happy home life.” (Season 2, Episode 2), (Talking about The Corrs) “I’d push the brother out of the room, bend them all over, do the drummer, the lead singer, and that one who plays violin.” (Season 2, Episode 3), “Who says famine has to be depressing?” (Season 2, Episode 5), “I can wake up one morning and go, ‘I don’t feel like working today. He’s a friend first, a boss second, and probably an entertainer third. David Brent has been described as a delusional, cringeworthy, egotistic prick whilst also falling victim to the Dunning-Kruger effect. Rewind the clock and enjoy 21 of David Brent’s best quotes from The Office…, “When people say to me: would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss? We also included a few quotes from Life On The Road. “A sergeant major spends his time training his men to be killers. [to Miriam Clarke, one of his work colleagues standing nearby] For us fans, he is all of the above and more. Two of the most quotable men on the planet, David Brent and Donald Trump. I’ve got laughter to give, I’ve got money to raise. Some people are intimidated when talking to large numbers of people in an entertaining way. Not as good as Beethoven. Not me. My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased profits by seventeen per cent…or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. David Brent: Cherish them. This lot sound like they haven’t read a book between them! Trust people and they’ll be true to you. A great memorable quote from the The Office movie on Quotes.net - David Brent: Well, there's good news and bad news. I don’t care if you’re black, brown, yellow – Orientals make very good workers, for example. She’s got alopecia, so not a happy home life. My answer’s always the same, to me, they’re not mutually exclusive.” (Season 1, Episode 1), “I’m sure Texas couldn’t run and manage a successful paper merchants. A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of … And the culprit, whoever it is, is in this room. Brent, will you be the Godfather to my child?”, so. They go, ‘Oh, we’ve never worked in a place like this before, you’re such a laugh. The only site on the web bringing you the very best hand-picked David Brent Quotes from all three seasons of the much revered television series, The Office. This David Brent Quotes website has been founded to document the very best quotes and scenes from the entire Office series. Just make sure it’s legal and be safe.” (Season 2, Episode 1), “You will never work in a place like this again. And then it’s back…The good die young. If a good man comes to me and says, “thank you, David, for the opportunity and continued support in the work-related arena, but I’ve done that, I want to better meself, I want to move on,” then I can make that dream come true, too, a.k.a. It is only the degree to which these people are “brentified” that remains the question. I don’t give sh*tty jobs. He probably does polish his own boots, but, you know, that doesn’t mean I have to do my own filing.” (Season 1, Episode 5), “An amateur will stitch up a professional.” (Season 2, Episode 1), “Some straight women like it the wrong way. I’d go Milligan, Cleese, Everett. Who does your tampons? Dolly Parton. No. Mouths to feed. Not the best of Brent’s work, but one way to keep the money rolling in I suppose. Ice-T. They’re the equivalent of Wordsworth. The world's defining voice in music and pop culture since 1952. This is the character that you know and love as David Brent. Live fast, sure, live too bloody fast sometimes, but die young? After it was me who saved others from redundancy. Didn’t happen in the end. He’s in a home. If someone’s unlucky, you go, “I’m not saying he’s unlucky, “but if he fell in a barrel full of tits, “he’d come up sucking his own thumb. So, as good as. for you. © 2020 NME is a member of the media division of BandLab Technologies. I don’t think you’d win a Pulitzer Prize for filth. I couldn’t do what…actually, I could do what they do, and I think they knew it back then. [giggles] Bit naughty, huh? He is a renegade and unorthodox, and doesn’t play by, “The Rules”. Well, Dad isn’t dead. The Brentmeister General. David Brent: It could be worse. Trust, encouragement, reward, loyalty…satisfaction. People say I’m the best boss. Yes, we’ve spent hours trawling all three episodes of The Office in search the creme-de-la-creme of quotes to feature on this site. And people say she’s just a pair of tits.” (Season 2, Episode 6, “Can I ask you something? It takes a little while. Some might say he’s also a misogynist. That’s actually what I do. That’s what I’m…you know. The point is you talk the talk, but do not walk the walk, vis-a-vis you’ve not yet passed your forklift driver’s test. Well, Dad isn’t dead. Ice T. They’re the equivalent of Wordsworth.” (Xmas Special, Part 1), (On Beethoven) “I don’t think he could have done better if he’d heard what he was playing, in my opinion.” (Xmas Special, Part 2). No, it’s not “The UK Office” or “The British Version”. I know an alcoholic and it’s no laughing matter – particularly for his wife. You can find detailed synopses on Gareth Keenan, Tim Canterbury, Dawn Tinsley, Neil Godwin, Jennifer Taylor-Clarke, Chris Finch, Keith Bishop, Ricky Howard, and Simon the computer geek. This site covers them all. The 12 episodes filmed over … College boys. A man who has done five fun runs in two years and is mad enough without the gear. It could be a woman. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay. He doesn’t polish his own boots. Both of mine are dead. ... David Brent. An evangelist who’s spreading the word in Slough. Naming no names – I don’t know any – but women are dirty. They’re looking in Oxford and Cambridge. If it’s in you, I’ll find it. We had to let him go, he was rubbish. That seems a bit high. I know, gutting. So, as good as. Interviewer: How would you like to be remembered? There is an entire section profiling all the main characters from The Office. Those of you who are kept on will have to relocate to Swindon, if you wanna stay. Taplow. – Ricky Gervais Two thousand, two hundred and thirty matches. On a more positive note, the good news is, I've been promoted, so... every cloud. Once he’s done with Slough, he’ll move onto Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell, Didcot, Yateley. Who does your tampons?” (Xmas Special, Part 1), “You see all these white middle-class fuddy duddies going, ‘Oh, we’ve got to find the new equivalent’. Winnersh. And professionalism is…and that is what I want OK? getreading. You might be. He’s generally considered to be the best. Sessions. There’s a party in my trousers, baby, and everybody’s coming. Thanks for your time. He’s also refreshingly laid back for a man with such responsibility. And not because I’m in it, but because it degrades women which I hate. The bad news is that Neil will be taking over both branches, and some of you will lose your jobs. Don’t forget to also check our section comprising of a large range of David Brent Memes. A self-described philosopher, poet and musician (read rockstar) he is also a sublime dancer. No, I don’t have a great many ethnic employees, that’s true, but it’s not company policy. If you’re wondering what that meeting was just about in there…That’s it…I’ve been made redundant. But he came to me and went, “Mr. Being at the beck and call of a man like David Brent can be trying and Dawn manages to navigate the challenges thrown her way albeit with difficulty.. I haven’t got a sign on the door that says, ‘White people only’, you know? He doesn’t polish … He was rubbish. Treat them greatly, and they will show themselves to be great. I’m like a spiritual guide. Well I’m angry. Yeah. I’ve got stuff to do. David Brent: I’ve got one song, it’s about rock and roll, but it’s a metaphor for sex. It goes… [he starts singing] David Brent: I’m gonna roll you over, and rock you stupid, and leave you there just humming. There’s a neighbour of mine, Kelvin. And you’ll never have another boss like me, someone who’s basically a chilled-out entertainer.” (Season 2, Episode 1), “I know an alcoholic and it’s no laughing matter – particularly for his wife. David Brent: It could be worse. A little word I think’s important in management called morale. You will miss them when they’re not around. If that’s it, can you leave now, please?

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