The principles of how to address it don't really change, though. After this argument however, he stopped messaging, stopped calling, stopped responding. But, it seems he has forgotten. need help. Leave the kids behind with their horrible father. I believe when a person's words and actions don't match up, you should probably believe the one you don't want to believe. She understands that now and just lets me be until we both cool down a bit and talk things out the next day. Problems don't get addressed or resolved unless both parties are willing to communicate. You can accept it completely, to the degree that it truly doesn't bother you at all. An hour or so later he came by and said "are you ok ?" Instead, try to empathize with your partner by saying you understand that they're upset or angry and that you would like to bridge the gap that has come between you. I get the silent treatment for being too ill to take over their business so they can run off and do something that isn't even important. Question: My husband has been giving me the silent treatment for over eight months now. Find out why people do it, whether or not it is abuse, and how to respond here. If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. I really like how you explain that the silent treatment is due to that person's problem not yours. There are two sides to each story, I believe. Instead, go about your business as if it doesn’t bother you. Their opinions, values, and reasons are irrelevant while you figure out what you want. Once again, he is responsible for everything that occurs in the world, and if was a better person, funerals would be cheaper. Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. Normally he apologised and I forgave him. It ought to be up to the person being stonewalled to determine whether this behavior is abusive to them. Is it her own little "ism" or does she lack faith in you? I'm going through silent treatment right now and it definitley hurts. But state that you’d like to arrange a time to get together and resolve the problem. Also I have never used the silent treatment, think it's an unhealthy way to control people and even now I make sure to talk.. whether being communicated to or not. I even guilt him by saying that I'm pregnant and that the stress that he is making me feel right now is not good, and that he sould be here to calm me not stress me out ... Just writing this out I can see how frustrating I must have been since he woke me up in a good mood about his plan of a day with his friends. I'll wait for a better time to initiate this conversation ... hopefully it will be more constructive next time ... ! Another tactic I use is forcing communication, often in writing. Love the wrong person, it will ruin your soul. Well, too late, you want a divorce, you got one. I'm also reminded today of a line by Depeche Mode: "Lie to me, and do it with sincerity. People who regularly use or experience the silent treatment should take steps to address it. Typically I have observed that people who chose the emotional abuse path always choose such partners on whom they can have the upper hand, maybe because they are subconsciously or consciously aware that they cannot handle someone similar to them. How a person responds to the silent treatment depends on whether or not their partner is being abusive. Giving someone the silent treatment can make them feel excluded and ignored. BTW, welcome to HubPages. Some psychologists say that the silent treatment causes emotional damage that similar to physical abuse. In some cases, the silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic. I did the silent treatment with my first husband. But we are much easy to pls.... Just give us a simple saying sorry, in deepest sincerity.. Men will forgive and forget. Learn more about verbal abuse here. Let me tell you that such people always find partners who are emotional and can be easily manipulated. Well i am tell you guys, specially to all the wifes.. Kawai from Singapore on February 27, 2017: I agree that signs of an abusive nature can be seen when the couple is still dating. I never though I was abusive, I thought he deserved the treatment. even though he keeps promising to do better. Voted up. Don't be surprised if your once sulky, manipulative spouse, after therapy, is not only acting in a more respectful healthy way toward YOU, but toward others. I will for sure be quoting that the next time one of my friends talks about giving her bf the silent treatment. Especially because half the time Cancers give us the silent treatment, we don't even know what the hell we did in the first place to piss them off! But one cannot be sure that the silence is abusive? I am just now seeing the review and while I respect his professional opinion, it sounds like the opinion of someone who has never experienced the punitive silent treatment for days on end. But it still hurts. It caused me to actually have depression and I had to take medications for that! You can let it slide until they come around and move on. The silent treatment is part of a "demand-withdraw" pattern that is deadly to relationships! Our main reason. His past relationships were awful and his own children are distant from him. No! Remind yourself that your partner feels uncertain and out of control. Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. That was a thought-provoking response. Sometimes, going silent may be the best thing to avoid saying things you would later regret. But I don't accept his this kind of solution (drinking). I'm also fortunate that I love long periods of alone time myself, so if he's off sulking, it's not that big a deal, but the thing that bothers me is that he's trying to get back at me or that we TWO are not really dealing with an issue.

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