Feeling a pull towards someone is not some thing that you can will to happen. – 10 Experts Reveal Exactly How To Find Out the Truth, My Ex is Dating Someone Else Already and It Hurts – 5 Relationship Experts Share Exactly What To Do, Why Do I Always Fall For Taken Guys? – 10 Experts Reveal Exactly How To Find Out the Truth, My Ex is Dating Someone Else Already and It Hurts – 5 Relationship Experts Share Exactly What To Do, Why Do I Always Fall For Taken Guys? Or does his perfection reflect in his character? He's smart, funny, attractive, and has a full-time job. Does your mother think he’s the perfect guy for you, but you don’t see it? So, you don’t love your boyfriend? Sometimes it happens when you least expect it to and when it doesn’t even make any sense. Have I been in love before and if so, what did it feel like? Dating is about spending time to explore and discover what kind of partner you enjoy being with and how that relationship can be fulfilling for you. This can be laughing at each other (in a playful way), laughing at life when it becomes difficult and/or finding the same things funny. Or is he the perfect guy for your best friend but just isn’t compatible with you? The best course of action depends on your unique situation. We often anticipate that love will look a certain way in our lives and while understandable, we often have notions that are just not true or realistic to expect. I don’t know how seriously to take this lack of “spark.” You are the only one who can determine whether being in love with your partner is a priority or a desire. If you have trustworthy people in your life, ask their honest opinion. Brewer helped me to, see some things I couldn't on my own and encouraged me to prioritize myself. If you realize you are not in love with your partner and discover being in love is important; you may want to reconsider the relationship you are currently in. Just because you don’t feel like you love the person you’re with does not mean it’s time to sound the alarm and panic. Alternatively, you may want to talk to a therapist to understand your feelings or lack thereof. You may want to revise your list or answers after you read over them a few times. Sometimes we can sabotage ourselves if our early life relationships or role models were unhealthy and we are unconsciously drawn to people who are similar to them. A similar sense of humor can create an amazing bond and fondness for your partner. It’s simpler than you think and I’m here to tell you how. All relationships look different and serve a different purpose depending on what the individual is looking for. Have you had a checklist of qualities that you believe you wanted? Read on to learn more about why you might feel this way. Is being in love with my partner important to me? It can be really difficult to end this type of relationship because he seems so perfect, but it is important to realize that it is unfair to keep dating him knowing that you aren’t that into him. Sarah Vendegna, MS, LPC – www.vendegnacounseling.com. There are a few reasons people stay with partners they don't truly love. Have you possibly elevated his attributes to ‘perfection’ because you think they are lacking in you? There is no amount of time that passes by and you are automatically supposed to love your boyfriend; however if you have reached some important milestones and you aren’t in love, it might be time to call it quits. So you may believe that it would be emotionally safer if you reject him before he gets to know the ‘real’ you. If you have had a pattern of being attracted to unavailable or unhealthy men, seek therapy in order to understand your unconscious childhood issues. Alternatively, you may want to talk to a therapist to understand your feelings or lack thereof. If you have met someone that you think is perfect, but you don’t feel a love connection to him, ask yourself why this may be happening. A counselor can work with you to fix your relationship or move on if you decide that your boyfriend isn't the right person for you. It’s something that naturally and gradually develops over time; unless you believe in love at first sight. Talking it through can be useful, and BetterHelp can help. After writing, contemplate the answers you came up with. Falling in love is a cumulation of a variety of events, situations and feelings that happen between two people. I Have a Hard Time Trusting in a Relationship – What Should I Do? It could also be that you really don’t know what you’re looking for, but you know he’s not it. You will eventually have more clarity about whether you can love this person. It could be that you aren’t that attracted to him so you’re missing out on some sexual chemistry. It's possible for two great people to have totally different values. To continue using BetterHelp, you must consent to our Privacy Policy. And that’s ok! Then you don’t need to read any further or think more about this. This exercise is a useful tool to help you explore and learn about priorities and expectations that you may or may not be aware of. So, why don't I love him? What you think directly affects how you feel—and your feelings impact your behaviors. # As a first step, try to narrow down what qualities are really important to you in a boyfriend and decide accordingly, # Pay attention to your thoughts about this ‘perfect’ man, # The most important question for you is going to be digging deep to determine what you are looking for in a relationship and if your partner, though perfect seeming, is the perfect partner for you, # Remember that real love takes time to develop, and it might even be healthy if you’re not feeling a lot of intense passion right away, How To Say What You Want in a Relationship – 8 Relationships Expert Reveal Best Tips + Strategies, Am I Settling Or Being Realistic? Change is a part of life. (I would check to make sure you aren’t just having a bad day before making any big decisions.). is a convenient and affordable online counseling service that lets you message experienced, licensed counselors who can help. If your boyfriend seems perfect, but you don't love him, it can be emotionally confusing. What To Do When He Doesn’t Call When He Says He Will – 6 Experts Reveal Their Best Tips + Insights, How Soon is Too Soon To Be Engaged? The most important question for you is going to be digging deep to determine what you are looking for in a relationship and if your partner, though perfect seeming, is the perfect partner for you. Time away from your partner will allow you the ability to truly examine how you’re feeling about the relationship and about your partner. “I don't think I am as in love with my boyfriend as he is with me. Have you had a checklist of qualities that you believe you wanted? Nothing is wrong with you or him, it’s just not the right fit. How To Say What You Want in a Relationship – 8 Relationships Expert Reveal Best Tips + Strategies, Am I Settling Or Being Realistic? The revision will help clarify what you are looking for and empower you to refocus your efforts on someone who is in line with your authentic self. Pay attention to your thoughts about this ‘perfect’ man. Let your pen express what is truly in your heart. The key is understanding men on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say to a man affect him much more than you might think. Is he handsome? But this type doesn’t fit everyone’s interest. According to Chlipala, this dynamic often occurs among people who are lonely. If you aren’t in love but you’re supposed to be, ask yourself “Why am I still with him?”. Perfect what he feels for you, you should end the relationship. Or do some honest reflection on moments you simply pushed away or comments friends have made that you thought nothing of initially. He might make you feel guilty for wanting to spend time with other people. Your intuition may even be telling you that there’s something that’s not quite right, even though Mr. Do you genuinely like your partner? Lauren Andre, LCSW & Jessica Lagana RN, BSN – www.connectedroots.net. Not loving someone who is perfect may be an indicator that you’ve overlooked a few red flags that may be subtly turning you off. The promise of the perfect all-in-one life mate is squashed once again. However, over time, outside sources (society, culture, friends, etc.) You can opt-out at any time. – 6 Experts Share Their Must-Know Insights To Find Out If He’s the Right One For You, He Says He Likes Me But Doesn’t Want a Label – 6 Relationship Experts Share Their Tips + Insights, He’s Not Ready For a Relationship But Wants To Be Friends – 4 Relationship Experts Share Their Tips + Insights, Not Ready For a Relationship But Still Wants To See Me – 3 Relationship Experts Share Their Tips + Insights, Does He Need Space or Is It Over?

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